You’re Killin’ Me: Comments
Doing what I do, I see more than enough stupid comments on the internet. Sometimes, I literally L-O-L, and sometimes I S-M-H, and sometimes it’s both. If someone isn’t cyber-bangin’, they’re probably talking gibberish. Last season I YKM’d Rap Trolls, and 1 year later, it’s same ol’ same ol’. Well, it’s kind of worse now because hate comments are actually directed at me. I guess I’m cool enough to be hated? Who knows. I usually love reading through comments, but sometimes I’d rather go watch some kids scream at an old lady. Lately, that video has been on replay. Find out why after the break. These type of comments on blogs, Twitter, and YouTube kill me.
First of all, nobody cares. Secondly, congrats? You might feel special at first, but in the end nobody cares.
Check out my music!
Ah, the “check out my music” comments. I swear these dudes are creative. I swear they don’t all claim to be the best. I’m deep. I’m dope. I’m hungry. Check me out. You won’t regret it. I’m the best rapper alive. Support me. Yeah, I usually keep scrolling.
Editorials are opinionated
Oh, my editorials are too opinionated? Well your face has two eyes. Fact is, your face is supposed to have two eyes, and my editorials are supposed to be opinionated. Sometimes it’s best to keep your opinions out of the comments. You’re killin’ me.
Peepo wH0 R1t3 Liiiik3 tH1SSS
10 year old’s shouldn’t be allowed to use the internet. What is th1sssss? d@ wur!d is $cruwd,,peepo kant r1ght @nymur,,M@y b dey Can gt A jub wurkin On. chick-fil-a billboards?? $tayy In skool..
More like retreat, ha. No. I am not going to retweet you just because you asked me to. I don’t even retweet @Jesus, and he has some of the most unique trill tweets. Why would I retweet @xxYMCMB_SwaqqBoii254xx?
About to make a triple rainbow.
— Jesus Christ (@jesus) July 15, 2010
People crave attention. Importance is based on the number of followers you have. #TeamFollowBack is so lame. Drake wasn’t speaking to you. Worrying ’bout your followers won’t necessarily get your dollars up. Stay out of my mentions. Unfollow me if you want but I don’t #FollowBK. You don’t even spell it out.
30,000 likes and only 301 views?
YouTube checks views, okay? They want to make sure views are legitimate so they freeze them at 301. Then hours later, some dude checks their legitimacy and presses a button to unfreeze them. I’m not a genius. This was like 2 years ago. Stop complaining.
Rap verses on instrumentals
I swear, on every instrumental, there are people posting verses in the comments. Nobody reads them, but they keep insisting. Look, L.A. Reid isn’t going to YouTube “Hard In Da Paint Instrumental download link.” He’s not going to read your verse and sign you to a million dollar contract. While I’m at it, Santa Claus isn’t real either.
When you look at the internet as a whole, the L-O-L section makes up for the S-M-H section. People say that this generation is getting stupider, but in reality stupidity is more visible because of the internet. So we’re not really stupider, in my opinion. Can you imagine the things George Washington would tweet about? “When your slave only works 17 hours a day -__- Time to get a new one.” So keep doing what you do just keep it real. I’m nothing without you readers. Y’all are hilarious, sometimes. Troll on.
What comments kill you? Let me know in the comments!