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Deaf•initions No•3

November 13, 2012 · Posted in Deaf-Initions, editorial · 15 Comments 

I don’t write these rhymes. I just write about them. So before you hit the break, let me warn you that both Jay-Z and Childish Gambino are featured in this installment of Deaf•initions. As always, this space includes some of hip-hop’s most illogical and stupid lyrics. Point and laugh after the break.


Lil Wayne – Goulish
“His head up his ass, Ima have to headbutt him.”

Let me get this straight. Well before we get straight, what’s a headbutt? A headbutt is when you hit someone’s head with your own head. Forget about Zidane because he distorted the definition. Heabutts are head on head. So back to Weezy F Baby. According to Wayne, Pusha-T’s head is currently up his ass since he’s talking a lot of crap. As a result, Wayne is going to hurt him with a headbutt. Since Pusha’s head is currently up his butt, Wayne is going to shove his head up Pusha’s..yeah..you get the point, like a chapter out of 50 Shades of Gray.

Childish Gambino – American Royalty
“Old school Jay like Beyonce’s fiancee.”

Deaf•inition, fiancee, a woman engaged to be married. Last time I checked, Jay and Beyonce are already married. They’re not engaged, they’re married. Sorry Donald. Even then, Royalty is better than your favorite rapper’s album.

T-Pain- Blame It (On The Alcohol)
“It’s going down we can go and kick it like judo.”

Actually Pain, kicks aren’t allowed in Judo because it is mostly a self-defense sport which features grappling and submissions. Most traditional Judo schools don’t teach kicks. Don’t you dare blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol either.

Shout out to Rus I. for the suggestion.

Soulja Boy – Mean Mug
“Tatted on my neck and throat.”

If you thought tattin’ your neck was painful, just wait until they cut your neck up and tattoo your throat. But why would anyone want to tattoo their esophagus? I guess I better turn my swag on.

Jay-Z – 3 Kings
“Used to shop at T.J. Maxx back in ’83/ I don’t even know if it was open then.”

Aside from providing players like me with affordable swag, they also like to tweet, and they’re ether with it. Lay-Z verse Jay-Z. Take it away Tee-J.

 

Pitbull – I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)
“Now watch him make a movie like Albert Hitchcock.”

Alfred, Albert, same thing. Except that Alfred is a legendary movie director. Albert Hitchcock is an American botanist. Potato, tomato.

Rick Ross – High Definition
“Put a number on your helmet like its Notre Dame.”

Rozay’s vision seems to be pretty standard. Notre Dame football helmets don’t have numbers. Ross I think you’re Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles. UGH.

Young Jeezy – Always Strapped (Remix)
“Damn shades so dark I can’t even blink.”

For swag purposes, rappers never take off their sunglasses even if they’re indoors, but Jeezy, do you wear your shades while you sleep? I don’t see why you can’t blink under dark shades. Unless, you walk around with your eyes closed therefore you can’t blink because your eyes are closed. Yeah that must be it.

If you have any suggestions for the next installment of Deaf•initions, hit me up on twitter or facebook.

Comments

15 Responses to “Deaf•initions No•3”

  1. Terrence on November 13th, 2012 4:22 am

    Lololololo

    [Reply]

  2. kish on November 13th, 2012 4:27 am

    this is fucking hilarious!

    [Reply]

  3. Dan on November 13th, 2012 4:28 am

    Gambino line – Pretty sure he’s referring to Jay’s music/rap style and or his fashion sense before he married Beyonce.. i.e. wearing J’s and his music before The Blueprint 3.

    [Reply]

  4. MzDinaaa on November 13th, 2012 4:29 am

    This edition was too funny!!!

    [Reply]

  5. Marcus L. on November 13th, 2012 5:23 am

    About the Gambino line, since he said “Old school Jay”, wouldnt that technically make it Beyonce’s fiance? New Jay is her husband so “Old School Jay” would be back when he was the fiance, not the husband

    [Reply]

  6. gbj on November 13th, 2012 5:26 am

    I think you missed the point of the Gambino line…

    Beyonce was engaged to “Old School Jay”, as they were engaged to be married some time ago, back when Jay was “old school”.

    [Reply]

    Listen To Charlie Reply:

    @gbj,

    Exaactly.

    [Reply]

  7. The Royal One on November 13th, 2012 5:47 am

    I remember when TJ Maxx tweeted about Jay’s line and I was just laughing it up. They put Jay-z in check about their corporation.

    Lil Wayne still has the most “suspect” line of the year and so far this decade.

    Jeezy’s line was especially stupid and give him some blonde roots, Rick Ross trying to show people he watches college football trying to be involved in the College atmosphere but hasn’t read a whole book since his elementary days. Childish Gambino is just straight pitiful at every line, song, & music project he drops.

    [Reply]

  8. Jon woo on November 13th, 2012 7:57 am

    On the Carter, Wayne’s raps, “Quick, fast like Tom Petty, y’all not ready. “. Tom is the singer, Richard Petty is a hall of fame race car driver

    [Reply]

  9. Hmmm on November 13th, 2012 9:36 am

    if im not mistaking that gambino line are old bars on a new mixtape

    [Reply]

  10. True on November 13th, 2012 10:16 am

    1) Wayne will headbutt pusha’s head 2) Refuring to the past of Jayz

    [Reply]

  11. no on November 13th, 2012 12:53 pm

    gambino said: OLD SCHOOL JAY so if they’re married now, they were probably engaged before in the OLD days…
    Lil Wayne said: his head up his ass-> so he’ll headbutt his head inside his ass, I don’t think he meant his head is already completely inside his ass….
    different interpretation I guess
    Jay said: used to shop there in ’83 & he didn’t know when they opened & they tweeted they opened in ’77 don’t see how this would be funny…
    All the other lines are stupid as f*ck, but I don’t expect anything less from those noobs, anyway this deafinitions kind of FAILED…

    [Reply]

  12. Mr. Tv Reference on November 13th, 2012 10:49 pm

    The lil wayne line means his head up his ass so its a headbutt he just delivered it weird but thats what i thought it meant and i dont think i have to explain the gambino line or the jay line, those made sense

    [Reply]

  13. Laodacris on November 14th, 2012 4:16 am

    “Old school Jay like Beyonce’s fiancee.” Uhh, I don’t agree. “Old School” Jay-Z is no longer a fiancee, therefore OLD SCHOOL JAY LIKE BEYONCE’S FIANCEE

    [Reply]

  14. ChuckAfrica on November 14th, 2012 10:15 pm

    Waynes verse was the gayest line I’ve ever heard…..

    [Reply]

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