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Deaf•initions No•2

April 22, 2012 · Posted in Deaf-Initions · 21 Comments 

Hello fellow English mates. Yes, you are now all English. If you’re reading this you obviously speak/read English. Last Deaf•initions some of you said that it was okay for Drake to call Latinos Spanish just because they spoke Spanish. In other words, it’s okay to categorize people based on the language they speak. Okay, I’m not going to argue. I agree, so you’re all English now. Mate, would you pass me the crumpets. Absurd you say? You’re African-American, Colombian, Asian? Ha, that’s Linsane. You’re all English! Now belt up, and let me get to the second installment of Deaf•initions where I will continue to expose illogical, dumb, and forgettable lyrics. Tyre.


Kanye West – Theraflu

“Lucky I ain’t have Jay drop ‘im from the team”

I hate to be a party pooper, but Jay-Z can’t drop Kris Humphries from the New Jersey Nets. Jay-Z roughly owns 1.5% of the Nets. He’s all influence, and no power unless he can prove to the other owners that dropping Humphries from the team is a sound moral and/or business move. Of course, this scenario is neither. Then the owners would have to go over the GM’s authority, and drop Kris from the team. This would hurt the trust withing the Nets organization. Humphries might not be Dwight Howard, however he’s a solid 10 point-10 rebound player. No way Ye’. Jay isn’t dropping anybody. Talkin’ ’bout basketball I embarrass you, ha. I mean, I’m sorry Kanye, I’m sorry Jay. Wait what’s that van doing outside…….?

Nicki Minaj – Roman Reloaded (Ft. Lil Wayne)

“And the ad is global, yep/ Your ad was local/ Where we shot it was a lot of different agricultures”

Im back. The van was just delivering some flowers. C’mon you really believe in the Illuminati? Back on subject though. Nicki Minaj. Before you ask, obviously, I had to listen to the song mentioned above. No I am not stupid. I am not deaf, but Nicki is. I have proof. How can anyone with fully functioning ears not catch a line like this and delete it? I’m not piling on all the hate either; this line is horrible. The first parts are okay. Nicki Minaj is an act, that is marketed through ads and her ads are all over the world, and you’re just local. However, her ad was shot in a lot of agriculturals? What’s “agriculturals?” I can see where Nicki was going though. She meant to say that her ads (videos) were shot all over the world, near different cultures. Instead, agriculturals sounds like her ads were shot in a corn field.

Fabolous – I Miss My Love

“Got a dude in the U.K./ Buy 5 bricks at a time, $22K/ He send the Euros/ I send the pure dough”

 

We should all know this one. We’re all English right? The U.K. doesn’t use Euros, we use Pounds. I’m really disappointed in Fab. He’s usually ahead of the competition. Remember when he said, “they out for dead presidents, never respected/ First of all, Ben Franklin was never elected/ That means him and big bills have never connected.” Killer! Sometimes while putting the competition 6 feet deep, the dirt moves on you, and you slip in. But it’s cool, Loso wasn’t wearing white shoes. He’s alright.

Rick Ross – Hustlin’

“I know Pablo, Noriega. Noriega./ The real Noriega./ He owe me a hundred favors”

Some lyrics are on here because they’re illogical, stupid, or impossible. Ross is on here for lying. Look, I’m not even going to go into Ross’ past. Let’s just do the math. Noriega’s career ended in 1990 when he was captured. William Roberts was born in 1976. In 1990 he was 13 years old. Yea. Right. A 13 year old doing business with Manuel Noriega. Sure. Oh yea, Noriega also owes a 13 year old 100 favors. Whatever you say boss.

Common – Making A Name For Ourselves

“I’m your worst nightmare squared/ That’s double for niggas who ain’t mathematically aware”

No wonder Common changed his name. This doesn’t make any sense. “Common” is more fit. Like most of us learned in 4th grade, squared doesn’t mean double. For niggas who ain’t mathematically aware, squared means to the 2nd power.

Game – Martians Vs. Goblins

“Mad that DC Comics overlooked me/ ’cause Captain America is straight pussy”

Game, stop watching Lil B cook, and Wikipedia Captain America. He belongs to Marvel Comics not DC Comics. C’mon Game, everybody knows that. This guy.

Jay-Z – It’s Hot

“.38 revolve like the sun ’round the Earth.”

Jay-Z was too busy big pimpin’ to learn about the Helio and Geocentric theories. Stay in school kids. Telling from Moment Of Clarity: Nas V. Jay-Z, a lot of you like to ditch class. Stay in school. Learn about journalism.

Diggy – What You Say To Me?

“Litterer, everything you dropped’s been garbage”

Diggy, what you say Cole ain’t hot? What? Where you read that shit? Have you seen his shows? Have you seen his hoes? If he wasn’t hot would they be so thick? Guess not. Son, insult Cole’s long arms, and short sleeves, but don’t talk about his music. It’s like Kwame Brown talking about Kobe Bryant’s game. Don’t be so elementary either. “Knowing you brokeback, Jake Gyllenhaal,” is so childish. Cole is gay and broke, ha. Calm down cowboy. What else? His mom is fat?

Big Sean – Mercy

“I give her that D, ’cause that’s what I was born and raised in”

Say ‘Ye, say ‘Ye, do you ever listen to your rappers verses? Sean’s last line on “Mercy” was retardedly stupid. Last Deaf•initions, people were saying that I was being too literal, and that hip-hop is about reading between the lines, blah, blah, blah. Uh, have you ever read any of my hearses? Please hit that red square with the X on your top right. Hipster Mac’s, take your lense-less glasses off, and hit that red circle to your left. Now that they’re gone, let’s get to business. Sean was trying to say that he gives her that D because he was born and raised in Detroit. I don’t know why Detroit is so special, but that’s only part of the issue. The wordplay isn’t there. The change from “dick” to “Detroit” never really happens. Substitute D with either “dick” or “Detroit” and the line is comical. Either Sean gives her the Detroit, or he was raised in a dick. In conclusion, the play on words is too much of a stretch for me. This line could’ve been so much more, but Big Sean couldn’t dooo it. That crap should’ve never been said, that’s a m-ass-take. Damn, the van is back.

Bloody hell, the van is full of lawyers and niggas in Jordans. Whatever though. Follow me @QuezKHH, and like me on facebook. Dude, they’re at the door. If you have any suggestions for the next installment of Deaf•initions (shout out @nimalraj) tweet me or write on my wall. Hold on. I’ll be back. Let go answer the door….

Comments

21 Responses to “Deaf•initions No•2”

  1. X on April 22nd, 2012 4:02 am

    Ye’s line from Theraflu isn’t about him LITERALLY dropping him from the team. It’s just defining his power, that he is a powerful influence and not just that he ‘knows’ powerful people, but someone as in Jay Z, he is ‘very close’ to some powerful people.

    Personally I didn’t mind Big Seans line from MERCY, yeah he could have done more with it but for comical value it doesn’t seem valid to question it. If anything you’re not questioning the line but more Big Seans calibre as an emcee.

    Totally agree on Diggy, that kids whack. #ColeWorld.

    [Reply]

  2. ichyowie on April 22nd, 2012 5:26 am

    in the UK, they actually use both euros and pounds

    [Reply]

    kay Reply:

    @ichyowie, No, they dont. They accept it in a few places in Northern Ireland but thats pretty much it.

    [Reply]

    verbst Reply:

    @kay,
    Eeerrm. Yeah, they use both. The main national currency is still GBP but you can pay with Euros throughout the whole UK… Sorry.
    Great article though!

    [Reply]

    ichyowie Reply:

    @kay, the UK is part of the european union and all countries in the union accept the euro

    [Reply]

    ciro Reply:

    @ichyowie, Accept and use is different, dude. The current English money is GBP

  3. elroy jackson on April 22nd, 2012 7:10 am

    Disagree for the big sean one , I think we shouldn’t trynna see that far …whem u hear it u get it …done deal

    [Reply]

  4. Ray13allday on April 22nd, 2012 8:19 am

    Best article…mate

    [Reply]

  5. no on April 22nd, 2012 12:31 pm

    keep it up ;) :p

    [Reply]

  6. onsomenextshit on April 22nd, 2012 4:05 pm

    I think the line that threw me offf most was finally wondering what the fuck do you think Fat Joe means when he says “Fuck you with the mask on, Halloween pussy”…..

    [Reply]

    no Reply:

    @onsomenextshit,
    mask on -> Jason -> Halloween ;)

    [Reply]

    peanut Reply:

    @no, well considering jason doesn’t have anything to do with the halloween movies, ur retarded….michael myers is the killer in the halloween series

    [Reply]

  7. MFA on April 22nd, 2012 7:48 pm

    Love these articles.

    [Reply]

  8. Dumb on April 22nd, 2012 9:46 pm

    This is dumb

    [Reply]

    S.Tee Reply:

    @Dumb, That time your name is”dumb”

    [Reply]

  9. The Royal One on April 22nd, 2012 11:33 pm

    Big Sean is so corny. That whole verse in “Mercy” is nominated for the worst of the year.

    Nicki Minaj is a corny broad anyway. Glad she deleted her twitter she was corny as F**k on there anyway.

    Jay-z needs to take geography class again.

    Kanye is a talented diva. There’s hardly anything he can do or say to surprise me now.

    I don’t care for J.Cole like that but Diggy needs to worry about gettin a high school diploma then messing around with a grown ass man.

    Game was too busy gang bangin to know his comic books.

    [Reply]

    peanut Reply:

    @The Royal One, the earth rotating around the sun isn’t taught in a geography class…that would be astronomy buddy

    [Reply]

  10. Curt on April 23rd, 2012 4:34 am

    What about articles where we debate the best lines or pure rhyme skeems over the past month or so?

    [Reply]

  11. Supernova on April 23rd, 2012 12:17 pm

    I got a problem with picking apart the common line it still makes sense since double also means 2 of the same

    [Reply]

    Anthony Reply:

    @Supernova, I said the exact same thing .

    [Reply]

  12. ljay on June 15th, 2012 7:43 pm

    Pure genius. Why didn’t I think of this first?

    [Reply]

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